Key takeaway
Alcoholics Anonymous is for people with a desire to stop drinking. Al-Anon is for relatives and friends worn out by someone else's drinking. The family clearing house opened in 1951, separate from AA, and it is not a sobriety program. The fellowships cooperate. They do not run each other.
Last updated: Mon Oct 05 2026 00:00:00 GMT+0000 (Coordinated Universal Time)
You drove them there, or you sat in the car, or you were told that if you loved them you would go to "their meeting." Then you walked into the wrong room and felt foolish. AA is for the person who wants to stop drinking. Al-Anon is for you, the one who has been living with the drinking. The rooms can share a church basement and a coffee pot. You will feel the difference in the first ten minutes, because the stories are about different pain.
AA dates its start to 1935. The family clearing house opened in 1951, after years of people sitting in the other room. That story is on what Al-Anon is. The rest of this is the fork in the hallway.
Which chair is yours
In AA, you are a member when you say you are. The only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. Plenty of people were not sure about that desire at the start. The subject is still their drinking, and their sobriety.
Your door faces the other way. You come because someone else's drinking has been running the house. Al-Anon is not where a person gets sober. If your plan is to sit in the back and collect tips for managing them, the meeting will not play along. Members talk about their own lives. They are not there to hand you a plan for another adult.
A short way to hold it: AA is for the person who wants to stop. Al-Anon is for the person who has been living next to the drinking. NA is the parallel room when the problem is drugs. Nar-Anon is the family fellowship on that side. A first Al-Anon meeting and a first AA meeting can look alike in the chairs. The subject is not the same.
They split on purpose
In 1951 Lois W. asked AA's General Service Conference what to do with the family groups. The Conference approved a clearing house and asked that AA's name not be used. She and Anne B. wrote to 87 groups. The name that came back was Al-Anon Family Groups. In 1966 the two fellowships worked out guidelines so each one would stay on its own purpose. They cooperate. They do not supervise each other.
You will still see them in the same hallway sometimes. Sharing a hallway is not the same as sharing a membership list.
The Steps are the family resemblance people notice. Al-Anon's were adapted nearly word for word from AA's. The one change the groups were asked to accept in 1951 was in the Twelfth Step: "alcoholics" became "others." The message to carry was for families and friends. The sentences live on Al-Anon's Step page. The slogans and Traditions guide is what those ideas are for in ordinary life.
If both doors fit you
Some people want to stop their own drinking and also cannot sleep because of someone else's. They can go to AA for the first and Al-Anon for the second. One does not turn into the other.
If you are looking at service with teens, the 2000 World Service Conference was specific. An Al-Anon member who is also an AA member may sponsor Alateen because of the Al-Anon membership. AA membership alone does not make someone an Alateen sponsor. The Alateen guide is that room.
Do not send a teenager to AA because a parent drinks. If the teen is the one affected by someone else's drinking, look up Alateen.
Where to look tonight
If the meeting you need is yours, open Al-Anon's search or call 1-888-4AL-ANON (1-888-425-2666) in the United States, Canada, and Puerto Rico. If you cannot get out of the house, online meetings are the place to sit tonight. This website's search reads public AA and NA feeds. Use it when that is the person who needs a chair.
If someone is in immediate danger, call 911. If you are in crisis, call or text 988. If the person who drinks wants a treatment program rather than a peer meeting, call or text (800) 653-9376. That is SmarterRecovery's referral line. It does not enroll anyone in AA or Al-Anon.
Additional Resources
Sources cited on this page:
- Alcoholics Anonymous: How do I join A.A.?
- Alcoholics Anonymous: History of A.A.
- Al-Anon Family Groups: FAQ for newcomers
- Al-Anon Family Groups: What is Al-Anon and Alateen?
- Al-Anon Family Groups: Al-Anon timeline
- Al-Anon Family Groups: The Twelve Steps
- Al-Anon Family Groups: Find an Al-Anon meeting
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Common Questions
Can I go to AA if I do not drink?
AA's only membership requirement is a desire to stop drinking. You are a member when you say you are. If you do not want to stop your own drinking, that is the wrong room. Some AA meetings are open, so visitors may sit in. Closed meetings are for people who want to stop. The [open and closed guide](/guides/open-vs-closed-aa-meetings/) covers that.
Can I bring the person who drinks so the room will talk to them?
That plan misunderstands the meeting. Al-Anon is not a program for finding or keeping sobriety, and members are not there to lecture your partner. If they grew up with someone else's drinking, or another person's drinking besides their own is wearing them out, they may have a reason of their own. That is their decision.
Are the Steps the same?
Almost. In 1951 the family groups were asked to take AA's Twelve Steps with one change. In the Twelfth Step, 'alcoholics' became 'others,' because the message was for families and friends. Read the sentences on al-anon.org. A meeting will usually read them out loud.
Can one person attend both?
Yes, when both doors fit. Someone can want to stop their own drinking and also be worn out by a partner's or a parent's. AA is the meeting for the first fact. Al-Anon is the meeting for the second. For Alateen service, an Al-Anon member who is also in AA may sponsor because of the Al-Anon membership. AA membership alone does not.
Which meeting will this website find?
The [meetings page](/meetings/) searches public AA and NA listings. Your family meeting is on [Al-Anon's search](https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/find-an-al-anon-meeting/). If you need to stay home tonight, use [online Al-Anon meetings](/guides/al-anon-meetings-online/). The [AA finder](/guides/how-to-find-an-aa-meeting/) is for the person who wants to stop.