Key takeaway
Your teenager asked what the meeting is. You can tell a simple truth without dumping a confession on them. There is a way to say where you go that a child can hold. If their life is affected by someone else's drinking, Alateen is for them. You still keep your own meeting.
Last updated: 2026-10-06
Your teenager asked what the meeting is. They asked it in the kitchen, or from the doorway, in the voice they use when they already half know. You can feel a confession rising, every year you would like to explain so they will understand you and maybe forgive you before dinner.
Do not dump it. A simple truth is enough. "I go to a meeting that helps me not drink. I will be back at nine." Then stop. If you need more language for a younger child, there is a guide for telling a child where you go. A teenager can hold a short sentence better than a trial.
Their meeting is not your meeting
Keep yours. Anyone with a desire to stop drinking is welcome in an A.A. room. You can listen. There are no dues or fees. A closed meeting is for people with a desire to stop drinking. Do not bring your kid in to supervise you or to be supervised. An open meeting can allow a visitor, and even then the hour is still about recovery from alcoholism, not about making your child your witness.
If their life is affected by someone else's drinking, Alateen is a fellowship of young people, mostly teenagers, in that spot. There are no dues or fees for Alateen. It is not a religious program. Al-Anon is the wider fellowship for people affected by someone else's drinking. You can help them look, and you can let them say no. How to find an Al-Anon meeting is the practical door. You still go to your own chair.
Tell them when you will be home. If leaving them would leave them unsafe, do not go out. Call 911 if the house is dangerous. If your shame says you should vanish, call or text 988. Your meeting is peer support, not treatment, and it is not a parenting verdict.
You can be a parent who goes to a meeting and comes back. If you want a treatment referral, call (800) 653-9376. The call is free to you. Treatment providers pay for the referral.
Additional Resources
Sources cited on this page:
- A.A.: Need help with a drinking problem?
- A.A.: What to Expect at an A.A. Meeting
- A.A.: Find A.A. Near You
- A.A.: Meeting Guide app
- A.A.: What is a closed meeting?
- A.A.: What is an open meeting?
- Al-Anon Family Groups: What is Al-Anon and Alateen?
- Al-Anon Family Groups: Find an Al-Anon Meeting
- Al-Anon Family Groups: Electronic Meetings
- Al-Anon: The Three Cs
- NIDA: Treatment, including mutual-help groups
- NIAAA Core Resource: Alcohol Use Disorder
- 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
- SAMHSA National Helpline
- SAMHSA FindTreatment.gov
- SmarterRecovery meetings search
- SmarterRecovery about page
Common Questions
What do I actually say?
A short truth. You can say you go to a meeting that helps you stay away from drinking, and that you will be back at a certain time. You do not have to list every bad night. If you want more words for a younger child, there is a guide for telling a child where you go. Stop before it becomes your life story.
Should they come with me?
Not to a closed meeting, and not as your support animal. If an open meeting welcomes a visitor, that is still your meeting, not theirs. If their life is affected by someone else's drinking, Alateen is built for teenagers. Let them have their own chair if they want one. Ask what the local listing requires.
I started talking and could not stop.
You can stop now. Tell them you said more than you meant to, and that they are not in charge of fixing you. Then do something ordinary, food, a ride, a show. Your meeting is still yours. You can go and listen without turning them into an audience again.
What if they are scared I am leaving them?
Tell them when you will be back, and mean it if you can. A meeting has an ending. You can also say another adult is home, if one is. If nobody safe is home and they are in danger, do not leave them for a meeting. Call 911 if the house is unsafe.
I feel like a bad parent for needing the room.
Needing the room is how a lot of parents stay. You can be ashamed and still go. If the shame turns into wanting to hurt yourself, call or text 988. Your teenager does not need you to be done hurting. They need you to come back.