Key takeaway
Your parent is drinking downstairs. If you are an adult, you can go to your room or leave the house if you are safe to leave, and Al-Anon is for adult children too. If you are a teenager, Alateen is your fellowship. If you are unsafe, call 911.
Last updated: 2026-10-06
You can hear it. Ice, or the cabinet, or the particular quiet that means the bottle is already open. You are upstairs, or you are in the next room, and your parent is drinking. If you are an adult, this is one kind of night. If you are a teenager, it is another. The sound is the same. The door you use is not.
If you are unsafe, call 911.
If you are the adult upstairs
You can go to your room. You can leave the house if you are safe to leave. You do not have to go down and manage the glass. Al-Anon is mutual support for people affected by someone else's drinking, and adult children are included. You can find help whether or not your parent admits a problem or seeks help.
Adult children is the longer guide when you want it. Tonight can be smaller. Your room, then an electronic meeting with the camera off. You can say you are just listening today. You do not have to narrate your whole childhood to take the hour. Alateen is not your room. That fellowship is for young people, mostly teenagers.
The sound downstairs is specific. You know the cabinet. You know the mood that follows. If you are grown, you can close your door and let a meeting be the other sound. Age does not erase the fact that you can want help tonight. You can be decades older than the child who first learned this noise and still need a room of your own.
If you are a teenager
Alateen is the fellowship for you. Read what Alateen is, and use Al-Anon's own page on Al-Anon and Alateen. An adult meeting is not your only option. If you are a teenager, look for Alateen. If there is no Alateen listing you can find tonight, you can still call 911 if you are unsafe. You can also tell a trusted adult who is not the person drinking. A meeting of adults is not a substitute I will hand you as the only door.
If you are the adult reading this beside a teenager, your chair is Al-Anon. Theirs is Alateen. You do not trade.
Tonight
Adults: go to your room, or leave if you are safe to leave, then open an Al-Anon meeting. Teenagers: look for Alateen, and call 911 if you are unsafe. If you need a treatment referral and you can make the call safely, call (800) 653-9376. The call is free to you. Treatment providers pay for the referral.
If you are in danger, call 911. If you are in a mental health crisis, call or text 988.
Additional Resources
Sources cited on this page:
- Al-Anon Family Groups: What is Al-Anon and Alateen?
- Al-Anon Family Groups: Find an Al-Anon Meeting
- Al-Anon Family Groups: Electronic Meetings
- NIDA: Treatment, including mutual-help groups
- NIAAA Core Resource: Alcohol Use Disorder
- 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
- SAMHSA National Helpline
- SAMHSA FindTreatment.gov
- SmarterRecovery about page
Common Questions
I am an adult. Can I go to my room?
Yes. You can go to your room. You can leave the house if you are safe to leave. Al-Anon is for adult children too. You do not have to fix the parent before you look for help. Families and friends can find help whether or not the person who drinks seeks it. Electronic meetings can be searched by day, time, and language. You can keep the camera off and only listen.
I am a teenager. Where do I go?
Alateen is the fellowship for you. It is for young people, mostly teenagers, whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking. Start with Al-Anon's own page on Al-Anon and Alateen, and with the guide on what Alateen is. An adult meeting is not your only option. If you are unsafe, call 911. A meeting cannot take the place of emergency help. You can want a room that is meant for your age.
I am an adult. Is Alateen for me?
No. Alateen is for young people, mostly teenagers. Do not use it as your room. Your fellowship is Al-Anon. There is a guide for adult children of a parent with an addiction, and there are meetings you can enter tonight, including online with the camera off. You can be thirty or sixty and still be the child who hears the drinking downstairs. That history belongs in Al-Anon.
What if I am scared of the person downstairs?
If you are unsafe, call 911. Do that before a meeting, whether you are an adult or a teenager. Go to your room if that is the safer spot you already have, and call from there. If you are an adult and you are safe to leave the house, you can. A teenager can call 911 and stay in a safer room in the house. Emergency help is the step when the house is dangerous.
How do I find the meeting that matches my age?
Adults can use the Al-Anon finder and the electronic list. Teenagers should look for Alateen through Al-Anon's own information and the what-Alateen guide, not treat an adult meeting as the only door. If you need a treatment referral and you are able to make that call safely, call (800) 653-9376. The call is free to you. Treatment providers pay for the referral. If you are unsafe, call 911 first.