You Can Smell It on the Person Beside You

You can smell alcohol on the person next to you. You can stay or move chairs. Their drinking is not yours to police. If you feel unsafe, you can leave.

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Key takeaway

You can smell alcohol on the person beside you. You can stay. You can move chairs. Their drinking is not yours to police. You do not have to get them thrown out. If you feel unsafe, leave. A safety card is not a promise about that person.

Last updated: 2026-10-06

They sat down and the smell arrived a second later. Alcohol, close, on the person beside you. Your mouth remembers. Maybe your hands do too. You came here to put distance between you and that smell, and the distance just collapsed into the next chair. You are angry, or scared, or suddenly thirsty, and none of those feelings came with instructions.

You can stay. You can move. You can leave. Their drinking is not yours to police.

You can change your chair

Pick another seat if one is empty. Near the door is a fair choice, because the door is how you will leave if the smell keeps working on you. You do not have to explain the move. A person can change chairs. The meeting does not pause for a reason.

You can also stay where you are and only listen. The share can continue. You do not have to comment on their breath, in the meeting or in the parking lot. A desire to stop drinking is the membership line. It can be true for you while the smell is true for them. People do show up after drinking. There is a page for going to a meeting after you drank, written for the person who drank. You are on the other side of that fact tonight. You still do not run their membership.

The group decides the format. Whether someone who has been drinking is asked to listen instead of speak is a local choice. You can leave the enforcement to the chair. You are allowed to hate the smell and still leave enforcement alone.

If a card on the table sounds like a guarantee, read this carefully: the safety card is not a promise about how the person beside you will act. You can leave without waiting to see the card enforced. Do not stay because paper made the room sound supervised.

If the smell is too close to your own drinking

Notice what your body wants. If it wants out, step out. Air in the hall is allowed. A full exit is allowed. An online meeting later, with the video off, is a real meeting if this room is now a trigger with a street address. Meetings are in person, online, or by telephone. You can listen somewhere the smell cannot follow.

If you feel unsafe, leave. Unsafe can mean a shove, a threat, someone following, a room that will not let you move. Call 911 if you are in danger. Discomfort and danger are different, and you are the one sitting in your skin, so you make the call. You do not have to poll the chair before you protect yourself.

NIDA says this is peer support, not treatment and not security. The person beside you is not your assignment. Your assignment is the drink you are trying not to pick up, and the door you may need.

Tonight

If you can stay, stay, or move one chair over and listen. If you feel unsafe, leave. Do not spend the hour managing their drinking. Your own desire to stop is the reason you walked in. It is still the reason you get to walk out.

If you need a treatment referral, call (800) 653-9376. The call is free to you. Treatment providers pay for the referral. If the night is a crisis, call or text 988. If you are in danger, call 911.

Additional Resources

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Common Questions

Can I stay if the person next to me has been drinking?

Yes. You can stay. Their breath does not cancel your chair. You can listen, and you can pass if you are asked to speak. There are no dues. A desire to stop drinking is the membership line for you, and it may be theirs too, even with the smell on them. You do not have to diagnose them to remain in the room. If the smell makes you want to drink, step outside or leave.

Am I supposed to make them leave?

No. Their drinking is not yours to police. You can leave that call to the chair. The group decides its own format, and whether someone who has been drinking speaks is part of that local choice. You are not the chair unless you were asked to chair. You can move your own body. You can let the person be a person. Correction, in public, from the next chair, usually helps nobody's night.

Can I move to another chair?

Yes. Move. Pick a seat nearer the door, or any empty chair that gives you air. You do not have to announce why. A quiet move is a complete plan. If every chair is full, you can stand in the back or step into the hall until there is space. You can return. You can also decide the hall is as close as you can be to that smell tonight.

What if I feel unsafe?

Leave. Uncomfortable and unsafe are yours to tell apart, and you do not have to convince the room before you use the door. Go toward a public place if the parking lot feels wrong. Call 911 if you are in danger. A card on the literature table does not change that choice. You can try another meeting, including an online one with the video off, when you want a room with different air.

Does a safety card mean they will be removed?

No. If the group has a safety card, that card is not a promise about the stranger beside you, and it is not an order you must enforce. You can leave anyway. You do not have to stay to see whether someone else acts. Common welfare is something the group practices over time. Your job in the next five minutes can be as small as changing chairs or using the exit.