Going to a Meeting After You Drank

The taste is still in your mouth. Maybe it was this afternoon, maybe you are still unsteady, and the meeting you found online already feels like it belongs to people who arrived clean. You can see a door that stays shut until you have a day to hold up. That picture is the shame talking. The membership line is smaller than the picture.

The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. That is Tradition Three, in the short form published with the Traditions. It asks for a desire. It does not ask you to present a record of days already finished. The long form says membership ought never depend upon money or conformity. You do not buy a seat, and you do not have to match someone else's idea of a proper entrance.

A closed meeting is for A.A. members, or for people who have a drinking problem and have a desire to stop drinking. If that desire is why you are going, a closed meeting can still be your room on a day you drank. An open meeting is for anyone interested in A.A.'s program of recovery. Nonalcoholics may attend open meetings as observers. The drink you already had is not an application the meeting information tells you to pass at the door.

You may feel obvious anyway. The newcomer page says anyone with a desire to stop drinking is welcome, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, income, or profession. There are no dues or fees. You can sit and listen, or you can share. That choice is completely up to you. The chair often asks if anyone new wants to introduce themselves. You do not have to answer.

When the meeting is the wrong room

Wanting to stop is enough for a chair. A body in trouble needs a different door.

If you are sick, shaking, confused, or you think you might seize, call 911. Do not ride that out in a meeting. The people there came to talk with each other. They are not an emergency department, and they cannot watch a seizure for you.

NIDA describes mutual-help groups such as A.A. as peer-led. They are not led by healthcare professionals. They are not a substitute for treatment. They are not detox. NIAAA's core resource says alcohol withdrawal can be life-threatening when a person who drinks heavily over time stops suddenly. A meeting cannot manage that. If heavy drinking has been the pattern and a sudden stop is what tonight is, get medical care. The withdrawal guide and the emergency guide are the plain-language maps for those symptoms.

If the fear turns into a mental health crisis, call or text 988. SAMHSA's National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357), is free, confidential, and answered 24 hours a day in English and Spanish. Licensed programs are listed on FindTreatment.gov.

One limit belongs in the same breath. A.A. members are not physicians, and they are not qualified to advise you about medications. If someone in the room tells you to drop a prescription, that is not medical advice. The medication pamphlet is written for members who must take medicine and for clinicians. Misusing other drugs can wreck an attempt to stop drinking. The decision about a prescription stays with the person who prescribed it.

Speaking is the group's format

You can go and only listen. On a day you have been drinking, that may be the only plan your mouth can keep.

Whether a person who has been drinking takes a turn to speak is up to that group. Members conduct the meeting and determine the format. Tradition Four says each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole. The meeting information does not lay down one rule that every group must follow about this. You choose whether to speak. Listening is allowed.

At open meetings and at closed meetings, discussion may be asked to stay on recovery from alcoholism. If you do talk, that is the lane the group may ask for. You still do not owe a speech to justify the chair you are sitting in.

When members talk, they usually talk about what drinking did to them and to the people around them, what actions they took to stop, and how they are living now. The point of that sharing is experience, strength, and hope, so they may solve a common problem and help others recover from alcoholism. Your part tonight can be to hear it. Hearing it is participating.

Formats differ, and each one takes on the feel of its own area. A discussion meeting has a chair who opens in that group's way and picks a topic. A speaker meeting is one or more members telling what they were like, what happened, and what they are like now. You can read the first-meeting guide if you want the longer map of formats. This question is narrower. You drank. You can still walk in.

How to get to a door tonight

Meetings are in person, online, or on the telephone. Members decide when, where, and how often. In-person rooms include office buildings, churches, treatment centers, recreation and community centers, and clubhouses that rent to recovery groups. Some meet outdoors. aa.org does not contain a meeting finder. It points you to local A.A. resources and to online meetings. The free Meeting Guide app, on iPhone and Android, lists a time, a place, and a name. Local service entities supply those listings and can correct them. The meetings search here is another way to look. Listings on this site are not verified, so confirm the time before you leave.

People often talk afterward. There is a social feel, and someone may offer help. You choose whether to stay. You can leave when the meeting ends. You can leave earlier if your body says to.

If what you need is a treatment bed or a clinician, call or text (800) 653-9376. That number is a treatment referral line. It is not A.A., and it is not SMART Recovery. The call is free to you. Treatment providers pay for the referral service. The line is not an intergroup.

Tonight, if you are sick, shaking, confused, or afraid you might seize, call 911 before you think about a meeting. If you are steady enough to sit, pick a start time and go, even though you drank. Bring the desire to stop. Leave the performance at home.

Additional Resources

Sources cited on this page:

• A.A.: Information about meetings
• A.A.: New to A.A.
• A.A.: What happens at an A.A. meeting?
• A.A.: The Twelve Traditions
• A.A.: Find A.A. near you
• A.A.: Meeting Guide app
• A.A. member medications and other drugs
• Living Sober audio: avoiding dangerous drugs and medications
• NIDA: Treatment
• NIAAA Core Resource on Alcohol
• SAMHSA National Helpline
• FindTreatment.gov
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
• SmarterRecovery meetings search
• SmarterRecovery about and referral line

Common Questions