The School Parking Lot

You are in the school lot, rehearsing what you will not say. Al-Anon is your meeting. If your child is a teen, Alateen is theirs, not a speech from the car.

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Key takeaway

You are sitting in the school parking lot, rehearsing the speech you keep deciding not to give your child. Let it stay unsaid in the car. If they are a teenager, Alateen is a meeting for them, not a lecture from the front seat. Your meeting is Al-Anon. You can say you love them and drive home without the rest.

Last updated: 2026-10-06

Idling outside the school, you keep practicing a silence you are not sure you can keep. The speech is right there, polished by the drive. You know which sentence would open the whole house. Your child is about to walk out of a day that already asked enough of them. Let the speech stay in the car.

If you say anything when the door opens, let it be small. I love you. Then the radio, or quiet, and the ride home. The parking lot is not the room for the talk you have been building. You can have that talk another day, or you can take it to your own meeting and discover you do not need to deliver it at all.

The speech can stay in the car

If your child is a teenager, Alateen is a fellowship of young people, mostly teenagers, whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking, whether that person is drinking now or not. There are no fees or dues, and it is not a religious program. It is theirs. It is not a speech from you in the front seat. You can mention it later in one line, and then let them choose. Do not assign it between the school and the driveway.

Two different meetings

Your meeting is Al-Anon, mutual support for people whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking. You can look for help whether or not your child wants to hear it. After you are home, find a meeting, or search electronic meetings by day, time, and language once the house is settled. Camera off is a fair way to attend. Say you are just listening. Leave the school lot out of it if you want.

If your child is in danger, call 911 before any speech. Mutual-help groups are not a substitute for treatment.

Drive home. The unsaid speech can ride in the back and get out at your meeting, not at theirs.

If you want a treatment referral, call (800) 653-9376 after you leave the lot, or from the lot if you are parked and safe. The call is free to you. Treatment providers pay for the referral.

Additional Resources

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Common Questions

What if the speech feels necessary?

A parking lot is a poor room for it. Your child is about to leave a school day and meet a parent who has been practicing pain. You can say I love you and stop. The rest can wait until you have been to your own meeting. Alateen, if they are a teenager, is a place they can talk with other teens. It is not your monologue.

How do I mention Alateen without a lecture?

One sentence, later, not as they open the door. There is a meeting for teenagers who live with someone else's drinking. You can look it up if you want. Then stop. Alateen is a fellowship of young people, mostly teenagers, affected by someone else's drinking. There are no fees or dues. It is not religious. Let them choose.

What is my meeting?

Al-Anon. It is mutual support for people affected by someone else's drinking. You can go whether or not your child wants to talk, and whether or not anyone admits a problem. Find a meeting tonight after pickup, or search electronic meetings by day, time, and language. Camera off is fine. You can say you are just listening.

What if my child is in danger?

Call 911. Do not wait until you have the speech right. A meeting is not emergency help, and mutual-help groups are not a substitute for treatment. If the danger is not happening in this lot, you can still keep the speech in your mouth and get yourself to Al-Anon after you are home.

What if I cry when they get in?

You might. You can still skip the speech. Tears are not a script. If you need a minute, take it before they reach the car, then keep the ride ordinary. You can cry later in a meeting, with the camera off if you want. Your child does not have to hold the whole afternoon.