Key takeaway
Step Six is becoming entirely ready to have God remove defects of character. Step Seven is humbly asking for those shortcomings to be removed. You can tell the truth about a pattern tonight without putting on a show. If the shame turns into a crisis, call 988. A meeting is peer support, not a clinic.
Last updated: Tue Oct 06 2026 00:00:00 GMT+0000 (Coordinated Universal Time)
You can see the pattern now, and you hate it. You get afraid, you control someone, you lie, you drink, or you do all of that in a different order. Steps Six and Seven are the pause between seeing the pattern and living as if you can delete it by shame. Step Six is becoming entirely ready to have those defects of character removed. Step Seven is humbly asking for the shortcomings to go. Neither one is a performance for the folding chairs.
If you are in a mental health crisis, call or text 988. If you are seizing, confused, or struggling to breathe after heavy drinking, call 911. NIAAA says that kind of withdrawal can be life-threatening. Do not work a step through a medical emergency.
Ready is not the same as eager
The wording of Step Six is were entirely ready. People hear entirely and think they must feel pure willingness about every habit at once. Readiness can be reluctant. You can be ready to stop a pattern and still like what the pattern did for you. The lie kept you safe for an afternoon. The rage made you feel less small. Being ready means you will stop protecting the pattern, not that you will feel glad.
You do not read this list to the whole meeting unless that group's format is a step study and you want to speak. You can listen. A share is one person's experience. It is not an assignment for your personality.
Defect of character is not a diagnosis. NIDA describes these rooms as peer-led. If you need a clinician to sort anxiety, trauma, or depression from the drinking, get one. The step is about the patterns you can see hurting people, including you.
Asking without a script
Step Seven says humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. Humbly is the opposite of the speech where you explain why the pattern is actually reasonable. You ask, in the language you have, for help letting it go. As with the earlier steps, the God in view is the one you understand, which may still be unfinished. Tradition Three does not make conformity a membership fee.
Then you do something that matches the ask, because asking is not a spell. If the defect is the midnight text, you put the phone down. If it is the lie, you tell a smaller truth to one safe person. If it is the drink, you go where people are staying sober. The step does not promise the feeling will vanish by breakfast. It points you at the ask and the next action.
If you are early
These two steps usually make more sense after you have looked at yourself on paper and told another human being. That is the shape of Steps Four and Five, and other pages here walk through those without dumping the book. You are not behind if you have not done them. You can sit in a beginners meeting that is still on the first three steps. The only requirement to be in the fellowship is a desire to stop drinking.
If a person in the room tells you that you are not working Six and Seven correctly because you still take a prescribed medicine, they are not your doctor. A.A. members are not physicians. Questions about medication belong with the prescriber. A pamphlet, The A.A. Member—Medications and Other Drugs, exists for that exact mess. Do not throw out a prescription because a share scared you.
Tonight
Write one pattern you are actually willing to stop defending. Not ten. One. Ask, however you ask, for help letting it go. Then do the next physical thing: a meeting, a call, or sleep without the drink. Search meetings if you need a room, and confirm the listing.
If you need treatment, call or text (800) 653-9376 or SAMHSA at 1-800-662-HELP (4357). The site number is a referral line, not A.A. and not SMART Recovery. Calling is free to you.
You do not have to become a different person before morning. You have to stop defending one pattern long enough to ask for help and then act like you meant it. That is Six and Seven at a human size.
Additional Resources
Sources cited on this page:
- A.A.: The Twelve Steps
- A.A.: The Twelve Traditions
- A.A.: Need help with a drinking problem?
- A.A.: What to Expect at an A.A. Meeting
- NIDA: Treatment
- NIAAA Core Resource on Alcohol
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Common Questions
Do I have to name every flaw in a meeting for Step Six?
No. The step is about readiness, and it does not tell you to read a list to the group. Many people talk about this with a sponsor or with one other person. You can also write it down and sit with it. The meeting may study these steps when the rotation reaches them. You can listen. Identifying yourself is not mandatory, and neither is a public confession of your character.
What is a defect of character if I am not sure?
In the way the steps use the words, it is a pattern that keeps hurting you and other people: the lie, the rage, the control, the hiding. The step does not hand you an official list. You do not need a clinical label. Look at what you do when you are afraid. That is usually enough to start. A counselor can help with diagnosis. A meeting is not the place that diagnoses you.
What does humbly ask mean in Step Seven?
The printed step says humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. Humbly, in practice, means you stop insisting you can think your way out of a pattern you have kept for years. The Him is the same God as you understood God from the earlier steps. If that language is hard, you can still ask for the pattern to loosen and then do the next concrete thing that is not the pattern.
Can I work these steps if I just got here?
People usually meet Steps Six and Seven after the inventory and the admission to another person, because those steps show you what you are asking to have removed. You are still allowed in the room on night one. Tradition Three only requires a desire to stop drinking. Do not skip medical care to catch up on step numbers. Withdrawal can be life-threatening. Call 911 if you are in danger.
What if I ask and the defect is still there in the morning?
Then you are a person, not a failed step. The steps do not promise a schedule. You may have to ask again, and you may have to take an action that matches the ask, such as leaving the argument or telling the truth. If you want a drink over the fact that you are not fixed, go to a meeting and listen. If you are in crisis, call or text 988.