Step Two If You Do Not Trust God

You heard the prayer and your shoulders went up. Maybe you left a church years ago, or you were hurt there, or you have never believed any of it and you are not going to fake it to get a chair. Step Two is still the next sentence in the program: you came to believe that a Power greater than yourself could restore you to sanity. The step does not say you already believe it. It says came to believe.

If this is a crisis tonight, call or text 988. If someone is seizing, not breathing, or cannot be woken, call 911. Stopping alcohol suddenly after heavy drinking can be life-threatening. A spiritual question can wait while you get medical help.

The words on the page

The Twelve Steps use that phrase, a Power greater than ourselves. Later, Step Three says God as we understood Him. Both lines are printed for people who do not arrive with a settled faith. You are welcome regardless of religion. There are no dues, and you can sit and listen.

Some meetings open or close with the Serenity Prayer. You are not required to say it. Sitting with your hands in your lap is a way to be in the room. If a share turns into a sermon that is not your life, remember that a share is one member's experience. The group chose the format. It did not appoint a theologian.

What sanity means here

People get spooked by the word sanity, as if the step is a diagnosis. In the step it is pointed at the drinking life that stopped making sense: the promises you broke by evening, the blackout you explained away, the certainty that this time you would control it. Restored to sanity, in that use, means a life that is livable again. It is not a chart a meeting is allowed to write. NIDA is clear that mutual-help groups are not professionally led treatment.

You can want that livable life and still not have a name for the Power. Came to believe is slower than a pledge. Some nights the only thing greater than you is the fact that other people in the room stayed stopped when you could not.

If you want something to read that is not a sermon

A.A. lists a Conference-related pamphlet for agnostic and atheist members under the title The "God" Word. Ask for it at a literature table or through a local office if you want their wording. The traditions also say membership ought never depend on conformity. Nobody gets to measure your belief at the door.

Beginners meetings often look at the first three steps. You can go to one and only listen. You can also go to an ordinary discussion meeting. The label is not a test of faith.

When the meeting feels like a church you already left

Some rooms meet in church basements because the rent is what a group can pay, not because the group is that congregation. Tradition Six says a group ought never lend the A.A. name to an outside enterprise, and a church that rents a room is not your new denomination. You can use the building and refuse the theology. If a particular meeting leans harder on religious language than you can stand, that is one group's format. Another meeting across town, or an online meeting with the cameras off, may feel different. You are allowed to shop for a room. You are not allowed to use that search as a reason to drink while you decide.

Tonight, without faking

Pick a meeting you can actually reach. Search meetings and confirm the listing. If the word God is already loud in your head, choose the job you can do: stay for the hour, do not perform, and leave when you need to. Afterward, if you can stand it, ask one person what they used for a Power when they did not trust the word. If you cannot stand it, go home. You still went.

If the drinking is medically dangerous, skip the philosophy and get care. SAMHSA's helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) can help you find treatment. Call or text (800) 653-9376 if you want a referral line to sort a level of care. That number is not A.A. and not SMART Recovery. Calling is free to you because treatment providers pay for the referral.

You do not have to borrow a belief to get through tonight. You have to be safe, and you can let other people talk about what they did when willpower was not enough. That is a legitimate way to start Step Two.

Additional Resources

Sources cited on this page:

• A.A.: The Twelve Steps
• A.A.: Need help with a drinking problem?
• A.A.: The Twelve Traditions
• A.A.: What to Expect at an A.A. Meeting
• A.A. literature list including The God Word pamphlet
• NIDA: Treatment
• NIAAA Core Resource on Alcohol
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

Common Questions