Nar-Anon or Al-Anon for Your House

Key takeaway

If the house has drinking, pills, or both, you need a room for you. Al-Anon is for someone else's drinking, and you can go whether or not they want help. Nar-Anon is for someone else's addiction. Neither room tells you to stay or leave. Try the one that matches what is actually in the house, or try both.

Last updated: Tue Oct 06 2026 00:00:00 GMT+0000 (Coordinated Universal Time)

You are standing in your own kitchen trying to name the problem so you will know which door to walk through. There is drinking. Or there are pills. Or there is a bottle on the counter and something else hidden in a drawer, and you are too tired to play detective before you ask for help. You need a room that is about you. You do not need a debate about which substance wins.

Two different fellowships exist for that exhaustion. They are not rivals. One of them may fit the house you actually live in. You can also try both.

If the thing in the house is drinking

Al-Anon is mutual support for people whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking. Families and friends can find help there whether or not the person who drinks admits a problem or seeks help. They do not have to agree to go. They do not have to call it alcoholism. You can still sit in a chair that is yours.

The what Al-Anon is page is the longer introduction. The family guide stays with the people who love somebody who drinks. If a young person in the house is the one being torn up by that drinking, Alateen is part of Al-Anon Family Groups, a fellowship of young people, mostly teenagers, whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking, whether that person is drinking now or not. Alateen is not a religious program. There are no fees or dues. That fellowship is for the young people. If you are the parent or the partner who is hurting, Al-Anon is a meeting for you.

How to find an Al-Anon meeting is the practical next step when you are ready to look up a time.

If the thing in the house is drugs

Nar-Anon is a worldwide fellowship for those affected by someone else's addiction. The only requirement for membership is a problem of addiction in a relative or friend. The program was adapted from NA. It has its own Twelve Steps, Traditions, and Concepts. There are no dues or fees. It is not affiliated with any other organization.

In a meeting, one person speaks at a time. There is no dialogue, debate, or cross-talk. You can just listen. The focus is on you, not on the other person's problems or their treatment. The group decides its own format within the traditions. You might find sharing, a step or tradition study, a topic, or a speaker. It is suggested you attend at least six meetings before you decide whether it is for you. That suggestion is a pace. It is not a test you pass.

Narateen is part of Nar-Anon for teens affected by someone else's addiction. Read the listing for the meeting you find. Alateen and Narateen are not the same door. One is for someone else's drinking. One is for someone else's addiction. If you are guessing, start with the substance that is actually in the house.

The Nar-Anon guide is what the first hour tends to feel like. Some meetings pass a basket for literature, rent, and donations that go beyond the group. Some ask newcomers and visitors not to contribute. You can sit through that without putting anything in.

You can try one, then the other

If the house has both, you are allowed to be unsure. Go to the meeting that matches what you have been living with this month. If the shares are about a drink and your nights have been about pills, try Nar-Anon next. If they are about drugs and the thing that wrecks your week is a bottle, try Al-Anon. You can keep both for a while. Nobody is keeping score, and neither room is the better one.

What neither hour will do is tell you to stay or to leave. Nar-Anon keeps the focus on you. Al-Anon will meet you whether or not the person who drinks wants help. A member's story is that member's story. It is not a ruling on your marriage. You still get to decide what you do about the lock, the money, and the morning. You do not have to decide all of it before you have sat in a chair.

If you are not safe, the meeting is the wrong first call. If someone is overdosing, violent, or you are being hurt, call 911. If you are at the edge yourself, call or text 988. A family meeting is peer support. NIDA describes mutual-help groups as peer-led, not led by healthcare professionals, and not a substitute for treatment.

If the person you love has been drinking heavily and stops suddenly, NIAAA says withdrawal can be life-threatening. You cannot detox them with a conversation. The withdrawal guide is the medical fear, separate from which fellowship you choose.

Tonight, pick a door and sit down

Look up an Al-Anon meeting if drinking is the thing you can name, or a Nar-Anon meeting if addiction is the name that fits. You can search meetings and confirm the listing before you go. The search on this site is not a verified directory. Use the fellowship's own information when you can find it, and still check the day and the time.

If they are willing to look at treatment, call (800) 653-9376. The call is free to you. Treatment providers pay for the referral. That line is not Al-Anon, not Nar-Anon, and not SMART Recovery. SAMHSA's National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357), is a treatment referral line, free and confidential, in English and Spanish. FindTreatment.gov is the public locator. You do not have to wait until they are willing before you go to your own meeting. That part you can do tonight.

Additional Resources

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Common Questions

Which meeting is mine if they drink?

Al-Anon. It is mutual support for people whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking. You can find help there whether or not that person admits a problem or seeks help. They do not have to walk in with you. The what-is-Al-Anon guide is the longer introduction. If a teenager in the house is the one being affected by the drinking, Alateen is the Al-Anon fellowship for young people, mostly teenagers. Your own chair, if you are the adult who is worn out, is Al-Anon.

Which meeting is mine if the problem is drugs?

Nar-Anon. It is a worldwide fellowship for people affected by someone else's addiction. The only requirement for membership is a problem of addiction in a relative or friend. There are no dues or fees, and it is not affiliated with any other organization. Narateen is the part of Nar-Anon for teens affected by someone else's addiction. The Nar-Anon guide tells you what the hour feels like. You can just listen. One person speaks at a time. The focus stays on you, not on managing their using.

What if the house has both drinking and pills?

Then you are not failing a sorting test. You can try the room that matches what is heaviest this month, and you can try the other one next. Nothing says you have to pick a permanent team tonight. Al-Anon stays with someone else's drinking. Nar-Anon stays with someone else's addiction. Go to one. If the share does not sound like your kitchen, go to the other. Nar-Anon suggests you attend at least six meetings before you decide. Give yourself that much room. You are allowed to be unsure.

Will either meeting tell me to leave or to stay?

No. Neither fellowship is there to hand you a verdict on the marriage, the lease, or the lock on the bedroom door. Nar-Anon keeps the focus on you, not on the other person's problems or treatment. Al-Anon will sit with you whether or not the person who drinks seeks help. Members talk about their own lives. A share is one person's experience. It is not an order. If you are being hurt, or someone is overdosing, call 911.

Is a family meeting the same as treatment?

No. NIDA describes mutual-help groups as peer-led, not led by healthcare professionals, and not a substitute for treatment. Al-Anon and Nar-Anon are peer rooms for you. If the person you love has been drinking heavily and stops suddenly, NIAAA says alcohol withdrawal can be life-threatening. You cannot manage that at the kitchen table. Call 911 in a medical emergency. Call or text 988 if you are in crisis. If they are willing to look at care, you can call the number on this site.