Key takeaway
People knelt or stood for a prayer and you stayed seated. Your body cannot, or your pride cannot, or your knees cannot. Stay seated. Nobody's membership depends on kneeling. You do not have to believe in God to be in the room, and you do not have to mock the prayer.
Last updated: 2026-10-06
People knelt, or they stood, and you stayed in the chair. Maybe your knees cannot. Maybe your pride cannot. Maybe the prayer is not yours and your body refused to fake it. The circle closed without you and you felt the gap like a spotlight.
Stay seated. Nobody's membership depends on kneeling.
The prayer can happen without your posture
Some meetings open with a moment of silence or the Serenity Prayer. Many close with a silence and a prayer. That is what the room is doing. It is not a fitness test, and it is not a creed you have to sign with your legs. You do not have to believe in God to be in the room. You can stay quiet while they pray. Do not mock them. Do not make a show of the chair. Let the words be said. Your silence is a complete way to be present.
Anyone with a desire to stop drinking is welcome. There are no dues or fees. You can just listen. If a person grabs your sleeve to pull you up, you can refuse. If they will not stop, move, or leave, and call 911 if it becomes a threat. A different meeting will let your body be. Phone meetings skip the circle entirely. The Meeting Guide app can find one. Confirm the listing.
You might feel rude. Rude is heckling a prayer. Sitting is a boundary. You can nod at people on the way out if you want to show you are not at war. You can also walk out quiet.
The group is peer support, not treatment. It does not get to assign your joints. If the moment makes you want to hurt yourself, call or text 988.
You were in the room. The chair counted. If you want a treatment referral, call (800) 653-9376. The call is free to you. Treatment providers pay for the referral.
Additional Resources
Sources cited on this page:
- A.A.: Need help with a drinking problem?
- A.A.: What to Expect at an A.A. Meeting
- A.A.: Find A.A. Near You
- A.A.: Meeting Guide app
- NIDA: Treatment, including mutual-help groups
- NIAAA Core Resource: Alcohol Use Disorder
- 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
- SAMHSA National Helpline
- SAMHSA FindTreatment.gov
- SmarterRecovery meetings search
- SmarterRecovery about page
Common Questions
Do I have to kneel to belong?
No. Stay seated. Membership is a desire to stop drinking, not a posture. Some meetings open or close with a prayer. You can be quiet while they say it. You can also step out if you need to. There are no dues or fees. Your knees, or your refusal, do not set the price.
What if I do not believe in God?
You can stay. You do not have to believe in God to be in the room. There is a longer page on that. You also do not have to announce your belief or your lack of it during the prayer. Let the words be theirs. Your chair is still a chair.
I feel rude staying down.
Rude would be mocking them. Sitting is not mocking. You can look at the floor, or at your hands. You can say the prayer if you want it, and you can stay silent if you do not. The Serenity Prayer shows up in a lot of rooms. You can let it be said without performing it.
Someone tugged my sleeve to pull me up.
You can shake your head. You do not have to stand to make them comfortable. If they keep grabbing you, move seats or leave. A prayer is not a license to put hands on you. If you are threatened, call 911. Find a meeting that lets your body be.
Will they think I am not serious?
Some might. That is their thought, not the requirement. You can come back and only listen. You can try another group. If the shame makes you want to hurt yourself, call or text 988. Serious is the desire to stop, and you brought that in with you.