What We Were Like, and You Are Listening

Key takeaway

You are in the audience while someone shares what they were like, what happened, and what they are like now. That is a speaker meeting. Some groups prefer a minimum stretch of continuous sobriety for the person speaking. That number is the group's, not a national one. You are not the speaker. These meetings are often open, not always.

Last updated: Tue Oct 06 2026 00:00:00 GMT+0000 (Coordinated Universal Time)

A person at the front is telling a long story. You are in a chair along the wall, and part of you is waiting to be handed the same job. Your hands are damp. You are counting whether you have "enough time" to be allowed up there, and you do not even know what number you are supposed to hit. You can stop counting. You are in the audience. The story is theirs.

In a speaker meeting, one or more members share what we were like, what happened, and what we are like now. That line is the format. What drinking was like. What changed. What life is like today. You are there to hear it. You are not the speaker tonight.

The number, if there is one, is theirs

Some groups prefer a minimum period of continuous sobriety before a member speaks. That preference is the group's. There is no national number of days for you to measure against while you listen. If someone up front has been sober a long time, that is that group's habit. It is not a verdict on the chair you are sitting in.

Tradition Four says each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole. A speaker preference is that kind of local choice. Another group may ask a newer person to speak. You do not have to shop for the strictest room to prove you belong in the audience. A desire to stop drinking is the membership requirement. Listening meets it. There are no dues or fees for the chair against the wall.

The speaker and discussion guide is the comparison if you want to know how a topic meeting differs. In a discussion meeting, a chair opens in that group's format and picks a topic. Tonight you picked, or you stumbled into, the hour where the long talk is already assigned. Stay with that. You do not have to perform the story you are hearing.

Often open, and still worth a glance at the listing

Speaker meetings often are open. Open means anyone interested in A.A.'s program of recovery may attend, and a nonalcoholic may attend as an observer. Often is not always. A group can close a speaker meeting. Closed means members, or people who have a drinking problem and a desire to stop drinking. Read the listing before you promise a family member they can sit beside you. If the note is blank, ask someone at the door, quietly, before you both walk in. The open and closed guide is that decision in plainer clothes.

Meeting Guide shows time, location, and name, and the detail view can show the format note the group wrote. Look for the word speaker. aa.org does not contain a meeting finder. The meetings search on this site is a separate list, and those listings are not verified. Confirm you are walking into a speaker meeting if the whole point is that you will not have to carry the hour.

What you do from the chair

You listen. You can share if a space opens and you want to, and you can pass if it does not. The chair may ask whether anyone new wants to introduce themselves. It is not mandatory. The pass guide and the listening guide are the permissions, if your body is already writing a speech you do not want to give.

You may hear something that sounds like your own worst night. That does not promote you to the podium. The point of the format is one member telling the truth so other people recognize themselves and remember they are not the only one. Recognition is not a volunteer signup. After the meeting, people talk. Someone may say hello. Staying is up to you. There is no assignment desk that turns an audience member into next week's speaker because you nodded.

If this would be your first meeting, the first meeting guide still helps. The preamble may be read. A moment of silence may happen. You do not have to join a prayer. None of that makes you the speaker.

If the story is too much

Leave. Call or text 988 if you are in a mental health crisis. Call 911 if you are sick, confused, or not safe in the room. You do not have to finish their story.

What you are hearing from the front is peer support. NIDA describes mutual-help groups such as A.A. as peer-led, not led by healthcare professionals, and not a substitute for treatment. The speaker is not a detox. NIAAA says alcohol withdrawal can be life-threatening when a person who drinks heavily over time stops suddenly. Leave if that is your body. You can reach SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357). It is free and confidential, and it answers in English and Spanish. Licensed programs are listed on FindTreatment.gov.

Tonight

Pick a speaker meeting if what you can stand is listening. Check the listing for speaker, and for open or closed. Sit down. Let them tell what they were like, what happened, and what they are like now. Keep your hands in your lap when the fear says you are next. You are not.

Call (800) 653-9376 if listening was not the kind of help your body needs. The call is free to the person dialing. Treatment providers pay for the referral service. The line is not A.A., and it is not SMART Recovery.

The audience is a real place in the meeting. You already found it. Stay there for the hour.

Additional Resources

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Common Questions

What is the person at the front actually doing?

They are the speaker. In a speaker meeting, one or more members share what we were like, what happened, and what we are like now. That is the shape of the hour. You are hearing one person's drinking, what they did about it, and how they live today. You are not on deck unless this group asked you ahead of time, and a first night is rarely that ask. Sit in the audience. Let the story be theirs.

Is there a sobriety requirement before someone can speak?

Some groups prefer a minimum period of continuous sobriety for the person who speaks. That preference belongs to the group. There is no national number of days you are supposed to have, and none is printed here. Tradition Four leaves the format with the group, except where a plan would affect other groups or A.A. as a whole. If you are in the chairs, the preference is not aimed at you tonight. You do not have to calculate your days to be allowed to listen.

Are speaker meetings open?

Often, not always. Speaker meetings often are open, which means anyone interested in A.A.'s program may attend, and nonalcoholics may attend as observers. A group can still hold a closed speaker meeting. Closed means members, or people with a drinking problem and a desire to stop drinking. Read the listing. If it does not say, ask before you bring someone who is only there to watch. Often is the usual case. It is not a guarantee for the room you are in.

Will they call on me from the audience?

They might ask if anyone new wants to introduce themselves. That is not mandatory. You can pass. You can sit and listen the whole time. Sharing is up to you, and in this format the long share belongs to the speaker. A discussion meeting is the one where a chair picks a topic and more people talk. If your fear is being handed the microphone, you picked a format where someone else already has it. Stay for the story. Leave when you need to.

What if their story hits me too hard?

Step out. Call or text 988 if you are in a mental health crisis. Call 911 if you are sick, confused, or not safe. You do not owe the speaker your endurance. A meeting is peer support. NIDA says mutual-help groups are peer-led, not led by healthcare professionals, and not a substitute for treatment. If you have been drinking heavily and you stop suddenly, NIAAA says withdrawal can be life-threatening. Their story cannot manage that.