What the Meeting Chair Is Actually Doing

Someone is at the front table with papers, and you cannot tell which part is the meeting. They read. They pause. They look up and ask a question you are afraid is aimed at you. Other people seem to know when to speak and when to wait, and you are spending the hour translating instead of listening. It feels like you arrived in the middle of a job you were supposed to have trained for.

You did not miss a training. The chair is a member, opening the meeting the way this group opens it. You can just listen.

The opening is a start, not a test

The chair usually opens with the A.A. Preamble and a few remarks. You do not need to recite it. If the sentences wash past you, that is a normal first night. The preamble guide explains what you are hearing without asking you to perform it. Some groups add a moment of silence, the Serenity Prayer, or both. You do not have to join the prayer. Silence on your side of it is allowed.

Then the chair often asks if anyone new wants to introduce themselves. It is not mandatory. It might be helpful if you want it. You can let it pass. You do not have to say your name to unlock the rest of the hour. The name guide is there if that single question is the one that froze you.

Many meetings read something next, often a portion of the Big Book, Chapter 5 or Chapter 3. Some read an anonymity statement. Topics in a discussion meeting often come from A.A. literature: the Big Book, the Twelve and Twelve, As Bill Sees It, Daily Reflections, or the AA Grapevine. You are not behind if you have never held those books. The chair is using them as a way into the hour. You can listen to the reading and let it go.

None of this is a bill. The newcomer page says there are no dues or fees, and that you can sit and listen or share. The choice is completely up to you.

The middle is the format this group picked

Members conduct the meeting and determine the format. That is why one night feels like a conversation and another feels like one person telling a long story. Formats vary, and they take on the feel of the local area.

In a discussion meeting, a member as leader or chair opens in that group's way and selects a topic. People talk. At most meetings the talk is about what drinking did to them and to those around them, what actions they took to stop, and how they are living today. You can hear that without adding your own chapter.

In a speaker meeting, one or more members share what they were like, what happened, and what they are like now. Some groups prefer a minimum period of continuous sobriety before someone is the speaker. That preference belongs to the group. It is not a number you are supposed to already know, and it is not a rule that you have to speak tonight. Speaker meetings often are open, which means people who are not there for their own drinking may be in the room as observers. You can still just listen. The speaker and discussion guide sorts those two shapes if the listing confused you before you arrived.

Some groups study a Step, a Tradition, or the Big Book, sometimes more than one Step at a time. If you walked into a study and you do not know the Step, you can still sit. You are not on trial for the homework.

An open meeting is for anyone interested in A.A.'s program of recovery. A closed meeting is for members, or for people who have a drinking problem and a desire to stop drinking. The chair is not checking a file cabinet either way. The open and closed guide is the plain version if you are worried you sat down in the wrong kind.

The close, and the part after

Many meetings close with silence and a prayer, or with the Responsibility Statement, or with other A.A. text. You do not have to say the prayer. You do not have to know the statement by heart. The format is the group's. Your mouth is still yours.

After the close, people talk. There is a social feel. Someone may introduce themselves and offer help. Staying is up to you. You can leave when the chair is done. Leaving is not an insult to the person who ran the hour. They were a trusted servant of that group's format for one meeting, not the owner of your night.

If you want another room because this format felt impossible, that is a fair reason. Each group is autonomous except when something affects other groups or A.A. as a whole. aa.org does not contain a meeting finder. It points you to local A.A. resources and online meetings. The meetings search on this site is a list, and the listings are not verified. Confirm the time and the place before you travel. The first-meeting guide is the wider map if tonight answered the chair question and left you with others.

The chair cannot be your detox

If you are sick, shaking, or confused, call 911. Do not wait for the chair to notice. NIAAA's core resource says alcohol withdrawal can be life-threatening when a person who drinks heavily over time stops suddenly. A meeting is not detox. The person with the papers is not a clinician.

NIDA describes mutual-help groups such as A.A. as peer-led. They are not led by healthcare professionals. They are not a substitute for treatment. If the confusion is a mental health crisis, call or text 988. SAMHSA's National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357), is free, confidential, and answered in English and Spanish.

If you want help finding treatment, call or text (800) 653-9376. The call is free to you. Treatment providers pay for the referral. The line is not A.A., and it is not SMART Recovery. The chair is not that line either. FindTreatment.gov is a place to look for care.

Tonight, let the chair run the format. You can listen from the opening through the close and never take a turn. That is a complete way to be in the meeting.

Additional Resources

Sources cited on this page:

• A.A.: Information about meetings
• A.A.: New to A.A.
• A.A.: The Twelve Traditions
• A.A.: Find A.A. near you
• NIDA: Treatment
• NIAAA Core Resource on Alcohol
• SAMHSA National Helpline
• FindTreatment.gov
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
• SmarterRecovery meetings search
• SmarterRecovery about and referral line

Common Questions