The Bottle Is Still Above the Stove

It is sitting where you left it. Above the stove, or on top of the fridge, or behind the cereal, and you can see it from the doorway without turning on another light. You told yourself you would finish it so the argument in your head would stop. You also told yourself you would pour it out in one clean motion. Your hands have done neither. The bottle is still there. You are still here.

You do not have to empty it to prove you mean it. You do not have to drink the last of it so the wanting will quiet down. Anyone with a desire to stop drinking is welcome, and the welcome does not wait for a clean kitchen. There are no dues or fees for the chair. You can sit and listen, or you can share. That choice stays yours.

Leave the kitchen before you settle the bottle

Step into another room. If you can, step outside. The bottle can stay on the stove while you look for a meeting. Meetings happen in person, online, or by telephone. Some online meetings let you keep the video off. The group decides the format. You can be a person in a chair while the bottle is still a bottle in a kitchen.

If other people live here, think before you make a show of pouring it out. A pour can be unsafe when someone else will hear the glass and come in angry. Leave the bottle where it is and leave the room. How to find a meeting starts with a listing you confirm.

aa.org does not contain a meeting finder. The free Meeting Guide app shows local listings. Confirm the details with the group. The meetings search on this site is another place to look, and those listings are not verified, so confirm the time before you count on a chair.

If your body is the louder problem

Look at your hands. Fear can make them unsteady while you stand in the doorway. Sick, confused, shaking hard, a seizure, or trouble breathing is a reason to call 911. NIAAA says alcohol withdrawal can be life-threatening when a person who drinks heavily over time stops suddenly. A meeting cannot do that job. NIDA says mutual-help groups are peer-led and not a substitute for treatment.

If the night is tipping toward wanting to die, call or text 988. You can do that from the kitchen floor.

The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Standing in this doorway and arguing with yourself about the last drink, you already want this to stop. That is enough to walk toward a meeting. A phone meeting is a real meeting if the house is too loud for you to leave.

Tonight

Leave the bottle where it is if your hands will not do a quiet, safe thing with it. Leave the room. Open Meeting Guide or the search on this site and confirm one meeting. Sit and listen. If you are sick, shaking hard, confused, or you cannot breathe, call 911 first. If you need a treatment referral, call (800) 653-9376. The call is free to you. Treatment providers pay for the referral.

Additional Resources

Sources cited on this page:

• A.A.: What to Expect at an A.A. Meeting
• A.A.: Need help with a drinking problem?
• A.A.: The Twelve Traditions
• A.A.: Find A.A. Near You
• A.A.: Meeting Guide app
• NIDA: Treatment, including mutual-help groups
• NIAAA Core Resource: Alcohol Use Disorder
• 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
• SAMHSA National Helpline
• SAMHSA FindTreatment.gov
• SmarterRecovery meetings search
• SmarterRecovery about page

Common Questions