Key takeaway
Step 8 is making a list of all persons you have harmed and becoming willing to make amends to them all. Step 9 is making direct amends wherever possible, except when doing so would injure them or others. The list comes before the contact, and willingness can grow.
Last updated: Sat Oct 17 2026 00:00:00 GMT+0000 (Coordinated Universal Time)
You know the names. They have been showing up since the inventory, and now the book asks you to write them down and become willing to go to them. That is a lot for one sentence. Steps Eight and Nine are usually worked together, but they are not the same action, and rushing the first one makes the second one dangerous.
If you are in danger, call 911. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, call or text 988. NIAAA says alcohol withdrawal can be life threatening when people who drink heavily stop suddenly. No amends list is worth delaying medical care.
The steps as they are printed
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Both appear on aa.org and at the start of How It Works. The working instructions are in Into Action, which assumes you already have the inventory from Step Four.
Step Eight is a list, not a phone call
Chapter 6 says the first members already had a list of people they had harmed, made during the inventory. Step Eight is where that list becomes deliberate. You name the people, and you become willing to make amends to all of them.
Willingness is the part people skip. The book says that if you do not have the will to do this, you ask until it comes. It also reminds the reader that the decision at the beginning was to go to any lengths for victory over alcohol. That does not mean every name gets a visit tomorrow. It means you stop pretending the list is shorter than it is.
Who belongs on it? People you harmed by your conduct, not people who merely annoyed you. The Big Book's inventory questions are a useful test: Where were you selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Whom did you hurt? Did you unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion, or bitterness? If you have to stretch to include someone, you can leave them off and revisit it with a sponsor.
Step Nine is the contact, with a brake on it
Step Nine says direct amends wherever possible, except when doing so would injure them or others. That exception is part of the step, not an escape hatch. It covers the person you would hurt by showing up, the family that would be torn apart by a disclosure, and the situation where contact would put someone in danger.
The Big Book gives several examples of how to think about it. It says not to lead with religious talk, because the person may still be angry and the point is to repair harm, not to announce a spiritual discovery. It says not to criticize or argue. You are there to sweep off your side of the street. Their faults are not discussed; you stick to your own.
It also deals with money and legal trouble. Most alcoholics owe money, the book says, and it does not tell you to dodge creditors. It describes arranging the best deal you can and letting people know you are sorry. If a criminal offense might send you to jail, or if a drastic step would implicate other people, the book says to secure their consent and consult before acting. That is not procrastination; it is the same consideration for others that runs through the step.
How to make one
Start with the specific harm. "I stole money from you and lied about it" is an amend. "I'm sorry for everything" is a mood. Say what you did, name the effect if you know it, and say what you are doing about it now. Do not ask for absolution. Do not explain why they were partly to blame.
If the person cannot be seen, the Big Book allows an honest letter. If contact would injure them or someone else, the step does not require it. If you are unsure which situation you are in, talk it through with a sponsor, a counselor, or someone who has worked the step. The book says to be sensible, tactful, considerate, and humble without being servile or scraping. It also says: As God's people we stand on our feet; we don't crawl before anyone.
When they do not forgive you
The book is realistic. Sometimes the person admits their own fault and a years-long feud melts. Sometimes they throw you out. The instruction is that it should not matter. You have made your demonstration and done your part.
That is easier to read than to feel. If a refusal sends you into a spiral, tell someone before you decide the whole step was a failure. An amends is not a trade. You are not buying a clean record or a relationship. You are trying to put right what you can.
The promises
Chapter 6 places a well-known passage right after the amends instructions. It says that if we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through. It promises a new freedom and a new happiness, that we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it, that we will comprehend serenity and know peace, that self-seeking will slip away, and that fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us. It ends: Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us — sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
Those are the book's words, not a guarantee about your timeline. Some people feel the shift during the amends. Others notice it months later, in a situation that used to wreck them. The promises describe a direction, not a delivery date.
What this step is not
It is not a demand that everyone forgive you. It is not a way to reopen a relationship that ended for good reasons. It is not a reason to contact someone who has asked you not to. And it is not finished in one weekend. The Big Book says there may be some wrongs you can never fully right, and that you do not worry about them if you can honestly say you would right them if you could.
If you need help sorting out what is safe and what is not, talk to a counselor or a sponsor before you act. If you need treatment, call (800) 653-9376. The call is free to you, and providers pay for the referral service. The line is not A.A. SAMHSA's National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357), is free and available all day and night.
Make the list first. Get willing second. Then make the amends you can make without hurting someone else. That order is the step, and you do not have to do it perfectly to begin.
Additional Resources
Sources cited on this page:
- A.A.: The Twelve Steps
- Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter 5: How It Works (pp. 58-71), official PDF
- Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter 6: Into Action (pp. 72-88), official PDF
- A.A.: The Big Book
- A.A.: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
- A.A.: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship (P-15)
- A.A.: What to Expect at an A.A. Meeting
- NIAAA Core Resource on Alcohol: Alcohol Use Disorder, From Risk to Diagnosis to Recovery
- NIDA: Treatment
- SAMHSA National Helpline
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Common Questions
What is the exact wording of Steps Eight and Nine?
Step Eight reads: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Step Nine reads: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. The words are printed on aa.org and in the chapter How It Works.
What is the difference between Step Eight and Step Nine?
Step Eight is the list and the willingness. Step Nine is the contact. The Big Book has you make the list during the Fourth Step inventory, then become willing to repair the harm. Only after that do you go to people. Skipping the list and calling everyone you feel guilty about is not the step.
Do I have to make amends to everyone on the list?
The step says wherever possible, with an exception when doing so would injure them or others. Some people cannot be reached. Some contact would cause fresh harm. The Big Book allows an honest letter when a person cannot be seen, and a valid reason to postpone in some cases, while warning against using delay as an excuse. The decision is one to make with someone who knows your situation.
What if the person refuses to forgive me?
The Big Book says it should not matter if someone throws us out of his office. You have made your demonstration and done your part. An amends is not a transaction that requires forgiveness to count. If you are contacting someone only to hear that you are forgiven, that is worth noticing before you go.
Can I make amends by text or letter?
Sometimes. The Big Book mentions sending an honest letter when a person cannot be seen. A text can be a real amend if it is clear, specific, and does not demand a reply. It can also be a way to dump guilt and disappear. If the harm was serious, talk with a sponsor or counselor about whether writing is the right form and what it should say.