Nine Stories and You Still Feel Different

Key takeaway

P-13, Do You Think You're Different?, speaks to newcomers who feel different and wonder how A.A. can work for them. Nine members share stories. You do not have to match those lives. You are welcome regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, income, or profession. A desire to stop drinking is enough to take a chair and only listen.

Last updated: Tue Oct 06 2026 00:00:00 GMT+0000 (Coordinated Universal Time)

You read the pamphlet because the title sounded like an accusation you already live with. You still do not fit. Nine people told their stories, and you closed it feeling like the exception they forgot. That shame is old. It is also the reason you are awake.

Do You Think You're Different?, pamphlet P-13, speaks to newcomers who consider themselves different and wonder how A.A. can work for them. Nine members share their stories. The stories stay in the pamphlet. You do not get a roster here, and you do not get their words repeated back at you. Matching a life on the page is not the price of a chair.

You do not have to be the tenth copy

It is a lonely thing to be the person who never quite lands. Wrong job, wrong family joke, wrong way of sitting in a room. Drinking may have been the one place you felt less visible, until it wasn't. Then a pamphlet promised people who felt different, and you still could not find your face. That does not mean the room is a club you failed to qualify for.

The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Not a matching story. Not a feeling of ease. You are welcome regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, income, or profession. That sentence is already written. You do not have to become easier to describe before it applies to you.

There are no dues or fees. You can sit and listen, or you can share. Introducing yourself is not mandatory. If the thought of saying your name makes the difference feel louder, skip it. After the meeting, talk is optional. You can leave while people are still talking and still have been in the right place.

The pamphlet is not a census

Nine stories cannot cover a fellowship. They were never supposed to. P-13 is one pamphlet for a particular ache: you walked in, or you are afraid to walk in, sure that A.A. works for other kinds of people. Read it when you want company of that kind. Stop when it starts to feel like evidence against you.

Groups normally offer pamphlets free of charge. Leaving this one unfinished is allowed. You will not be quizzed on who was in it. Inventing a category for yourself so you can belong is extra work nobody asked you to do.

If the difference on your mind is about LGBTQ meetings, there is a separate page for that. Use it if you need it. The shame in front of you can still be the plain one, the kind that does not require a label to hurt. You can carry both feelings. You do not have to sort them before you go.

Meetings differ because groups choose their own format. Some read a short passage at the start. Some feel chatty. Some are quiet. One room that feels cold is not every room. Open meetings are for anyone interested, and nonalcoholics may attend as observers. Closed meetings are for members, or for people with a drinking problem and a desire to stop drinking. Membership is voluntary. Court and treatment referrals are welcome, and a referral is still not a verdict that you are the wrong kind of drinker.

A different night, a different door

aa.org is not a meeting finder. Local lists are. There is a pointer for online meetings if leaving the house feels like too much exposure. Online can be video on, video off, or a dial-in. Phone meetings exist too. The meetings search can help you start. Listings there are not verified, so confirm the time.

If you are sick, the pamphlet can wait. Call 911 if you are sick, confused, or cannot breathe. Call or text 988 if you are in a mental health crisis. NIAAA says alcohol withdrawal can be life-threatening when a person who drinks heavily over time stops suddenly. NIDA says mutual-help groups such as A.A. are peer-led, not led by healthcare professionals, and not a substitute for treatment. A meeting is peer support, not detox.

If you need help finding treatment, call (800) 653-9376, which is free to you because treatment providers pay for the referral, and the line is not an intergroup, and the line is not A.A., and it is not SMART Recovery. FindTreatment.gov lists programs. SAMHSA's National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357), is free, confidential, and available 24/7 in English and Spanish.

Tonight, unmatched

You do not have to see yourself in those nine stories before you go. Find a meeting on the meetings search and confirm it. Take a chair as the person who feels different. Listen. You can be wrong about belonging and still be in the room. The desire to stop is the line. The rest can stay unnamed until you want to name it.

Additional Resources

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Common Questions

What if none of the nine stories sounds like me?

Then you are in the feeling the pamphlet is for, and you still do not have to match anyone in it. P-13 speaks to newcomers who consider themselves different and wonder how A.A. can work for them. Nine members share their stories. Those stories stay in the pamphlet. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. You are welcome regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, income, or profession. You can go, sit, and listen without explaining who was missing.

Does feeling different mean I am in the wrong fellowship?

It means you are hurting in a way many newcomers know, even when the details are yours. The pamphlet exists because people arrive sure the room was built for someone else. Membership is voluntary. You can share, or you can only listen. Introducing yourself is not mandatory. There are no dues or fees. Meetings are in person, online, or by phone, so another room on another night is allowed. One stiff hour is not a verdict on you.

Should I keep reading until I find myself?

You can stop. Nine stories are not a census, and you were not assigned to find your double before you ask for help. Read one page when you want to, or read none. Groups normally offer pamphlets free of charge, so leaving it unfinished costs nothing. What changes the night is a chair. aa.org is not a meeting finder. Use a local list, or the meetings search, and confirm the time, because those listings are not verified.

What if the difference I carry is about who I am?

You are still welcome. That welcome covers race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, income, and profession. You do not have to announce a type. If you want the separate page about LGBTQ meetings, it is there. You can use it, or you can walk into an ordinary meeting and only listen. Open meetings allow anyone interested. Closed meetings are for people with a drinking problem and a desire to stop, or for members. Do not wait until you feel typical.

What if I feel sick and also sure I do not belong?

Get safe before you settle belonging. Call 911 if you are sick, confused, or cannot breathe. Call or text 988 if you are in a mental health crisis. If heavy drinking stops suddenly, NIAAA says withdrawal can be life-threatening. A meeting cannot detox you. NIDA says mutual-help groups such as A.A. are peer-led, not led by healthcare professionals, and not a substitute for treatment. Programs are listed on FindTreatment.gov. When you are steadier, you can still take a chair feeling different.