Key takeaway
CDC defines intimate partner violence as physical harm, sexual violence, stalking, or psychological aggression by a partner. TIP 39 says it is associated with alcohol and drug misuse, is common in some of those relationships, and is not inevitable. Experts it cites generally advise against joint counseling after violence. Call 911 if you are in danger.
Last updated: Mon Oct 05 2026 00:00:00 GMT+0000 (Coordinated Universal Time)
If you are in immediate danger, call 911 before you read further. The National Domestic Violence Hotline warns that internet use can be monitored and cannot be erased completely. If you think a device is being watched, the hotline says to call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) instead of staying in a browser. You can text START to 88788. A public article is not a private channel.
A boundary conversation is a different problem, and it already has a page. The boundaries guide explains how SAMHSA describes family lines, and it stops when the issue is violence. That stop is what follows: what CDC and SAMHSA's family therapy protocol actually say about intimate partner violence beside substance use. It is not a safety plan you can copy, and it is not advice to manage someone else's drinking so the violence will pause.
SmarterRecovery is a referral helpline for treatment. It is not a shelter, not a court, and not SMART Recovery, the separate mutual-help program.
What CDC means by the term
CDC's overview, reviewed on August 19, 2026, defines intimate partner violence as abuse or aggression in a romantic relationship. The partner can be a current or former spouse or dating partner. It can happen once or many times, and it can range from a single episode to severe violence over years.
CDC includes four kinds of behavior. Physical violence is hurting or trying to hurt a partner with physical force. Sexual violence is forcing or trying to force a partner into a sex act, sexual touching, or a non-physical sexual event, such as sexting, when the partner does not or cannot consent. Stalking is a pattern of unwanted attention and contact that causes fear for one's own safety or for someone close. Psychological aggression is verbal or non-verbal communication meant to harm a partner mentally or emotionally, or to control them.
CDC reports that intimate partner violence is common. Citing its 2023/2024 data brief, it says more than 1 in 3 women, nearly 43.5 million, and more than 1 in 6 men, 20.7 million, experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetimes. Among women in that brief, about 1 in 5 experienced contact sexual violence, nearly 1 in 4 experienced physical violence, and about 1 in 8 were stalked. Among men, nearly 1 in 23 experienced contact sexual violence, about 1 in 7 experienced physical violence, and almost 1 in 24 were stalked. Those are survey figures. They do not diagnose a home.
CDC also says the harm is not only the injury in the moment. Survivors can have depression and post-traumatic stress symptoms. They are at higher risk of smoking, binge drinking, and risky sexual activity. The trauma guide and the PTSD guide are about co-occurring care. They are not a finding that drinking caused the violence, and they are not a finding that the person who was hurt has a disorder because they were hurt.
On deaths, CDC says National Violent Death Reporting System data suggest about 1 in 5 homicide victims are killed by an intimate partner, and that over half of female homicide victims in those reports were killed by a current or former male intimate partner. The footnote on CDC's page points to a surveillance summary. Read it as CDC's published statement, not as a prediction.
What SAMHSA says about the overlap
TIP 39, SAMHSA's 2020 family therapy protocol, states an association and then refuses the leap people often make from it.
It says drug use and alcohol misuse are associated with increased intimate partner violence. It cites a report that substance misuse occurs in about 40 percent to 60 percent of intimate partner violence cases. It says that among women who have experienced this violence, rates of substance misuse are 2 to 6 times higher than among women who have not, and that those rates range widely, from 18 percent to 72 percent. It says lifetime intimate partner violence among women seeking substance use treatment varies from 47 percent to 90 percent. The manual is showing a wide spread, not a single rate you can assign to one person. Wide ranges are a reason to be careful, not a reason to pick the highest number.
Then the manual says the sentence that keeps the association from becoming fate. Just because someone is in an intimate relationship with a person who has a substance use disorder does not mean violence will occur. It also says the violence is common in such relationships, leads to unhealthy dynamics, and creates ethical and safety problems for counselors and clients. Both halves matter. The overlap is real in the research the manual cites. It is not a rule that use equals violence, and it is not a rule that violence requires use.
When violence between partners is the treatment issue, TIP 39 says safety is the counselor's main concern. It says experts in the domestic violence field generally do not recommend joint counseling after intimate partner violence, because that counseling is not effective, because it is unsound if it treats both people as responsible for the violence, and because it is unsound if the work is on communication instead of the abuse. The alternative it names is individual counseling focused on safety planning for the person who was hurt. A blog post is not that counseling. The hotline is one place that work starts. No worksheet on a public site is a safety plan.
Family sessions have a related limit. TIP 39 says the times to exclude someone include intoxication, severe psychiatric symptoms such as hallucinations or severe mania, and threatened violence. The family therapy guide covers that rule in more detail. Do not schedule a joint session to "finally set a boundary" after violence. The boundaries page already says a kitchen-table limit is not a safety plan. That warning stands.
Help that is not a treatment referral
StrongHearts, 1-844-762-8483, is the line the hotline lists for Native American and Alaska Native callers. The teen dating helpline it lists is 1-866-331-9474. The Deaf Hotline video phone it lists is 1-855-812-1001. For a mental health crisis, call or text 988.
The hotline says advocates can offer support, crisis intervention, education, and referrals to community resources. It also says the hotline does not provide cash, hotel vouchers, or rides. It can try to connect you with local programs that might. A referral line is not a shelter and does not place you in a bed tonight.
If you want substance use treatment for yourself, that is a separate question from the safety call. FindTreatment.gov lists programs. Call or text (800) 653-9376 for that referral question only. Do not expect the referral line to contact a partner, hide your location, or decide a court case.
The codependency guide covers ordinary family help that can make substance use easier. It does not cover absorbing violence. The refusal guide covers a relative who will not enter care. Neither page asks you to stay where you are being hurt.
Additional Resources
Sources cited on this page:
- CDC: About Intimate Partner Violence (reviewed August 19, 2026)
- SAMHSA TIP 39: Substance Use Disorder Treatment and Family Therapy (2020 update, GovInfo PDF)
- National Domestic Violence Hotline
- SAMHSA FindTreatment.gov
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Common Questions
Does a substance use disorder mean a partner will be violent?
No. TIP 39 says that being in an intimate relationship with someone who has a substance use disorder does not mean violence will occur. It also says intimate partner violence is common in such relationships, creates unhealthy dynamics, and raises safety concerns for counselors and clients. Common is not the same as certain. No chart can sort one household from another.
Should we go to couples counseling to work on it?
TIP 39 says experts in the domestic violence field generally do not recommend joint counseling when intimate partner violence has occurred. The reasons it gives are that joint counseling is not effective, that it is unsound if it assumes both people are responsible for the violence, and that it is unsound if the sessions work on communication instead of the abusive behavior. The manual points to individual counseling focused on safety for the person who was hurt. The family therapy guide covers that broader rule, including threats as a reason to keep someone out of a family session.
What does CDC count as intimate partner violence?
CDC's definition, reviewed in August 2026, includes physical violence, sexual violence, stalking, and psychological aggression by a current or former spouse or dating partner. It can be one episode or many, and it can vary in severity. CDC reports that more than 1 in 3 women and more than 1 in 6 men have experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetimes. Those are population figures from the survey CDC cites. They are not a measure of your household.
Where do I call if I am afraid to use a website?
If you are in immediate danger, call 911. The National Domestic Violence Hotline says internet use can be monitored and is not fully erasable. If a device might be watched, it says to call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). You can also text START to 88788. StrongHearts, 1-844-762-8483, is the line it lists for Native American and Alaska Native callers. The teen dating helpline it lists is 1-866-331-9474. For a mental health crisis, call or text 988.
Can a treatment referral line hide me or find me a shelter tonight?
No. SmarterRecovery is a treatment referral helpline. It is not a domestic violence shelter, a court, or a safety-planning service. The hotline says its advocates offer support, crisis help, education, and community referrals, and that the hotline itself does not give cash, hotel vouchers, or transportation. A referral line is not a shelter and does not place you in a bed tonight. Substance use treatment, if you want it for yourself, is a separate question on FindTreatment.gov.