Bill's Story Is Not Your Script

Your mouth is dry because the book opens on a man, and you are sure your life has to sound like his before anyone will let you talk. Maybe you already tried a sentence in your head and threw it out. It did not sound important enough. You are still allowed in the room.

Chapter 1 is titled Bill's Story. That is the name on the chapter. Alcoholics Anonymous, the Big Book, was first published in 1939 so other alcoholics could see how the first 100 members got sober. It is still the basic text. One chapter carries one man's name. That does not make his life the script you have to borrow before you count.

You do not have to match the shape of that chapter. If your drinking is smaller on paper, or it is still happening tonight, it is still your life. The chapter can stay in the book. Your chair does not depend on lining your story up beside it.

Sounding like that chapter is not the price of a share

People sometimes treat the first chapter like an audition. They think a share has to start the way a named story starts, or it does not deserve the air. You can drop that test. At most meetings, members talk about what drinking did to them and to the people around them, what actions they took to stop, and how they are living now. The purpose of that talk is experience, strength, and hope. Your turn, if you take one, can be short. It can sound like you on a Tuesday, not like a chapter title.

The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. The long form says membership ought never depend on money or conformity. Conformity, on a night like this, is the pressure to sound like the man the chapter is named for. You do not have to reshape your mouth around someone else's life, and you do not have to pay to sit down. There are no dues or fees. What people contribute is up to them. A.A. has been one alcoholic talking with another for more than 80 years. That span is not a voice you have to copy.

You are welcome regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, income, or profession. Nothing in that welcome asks you to sound like Chapter 1. If you are new, ashamed, or sure you will describe the wrong kind of drinking, the chair is still there. Membership is voluntary. Meetings welcome people sent by a court or a treatment facility. Being sent does not raise the bar to a founder's cadence.

You can listen and stay ordinary

You can sit and listen, or you can share. The choice is yours. The chair often asks if anyone new wants to introduce themselves. That introduction is not mandatory. You can be a person in a seat with your name unsaid. If a book comes down the row and it is open to Bill's Story, pass it. Your hands can stay in your lap. Letting the lines go past you is a way to be in the meeting.

Groups choose their own format, and a meeting takes on the feel of the local area. Many groups read a short passage near the start. Some nights that passage comes from this book. You do not have to own a copy, and you do not have to follow along in a book you did not bring. Hearing a topic is not the same as owing the room a performance of Chapter 1.

If a prayer starts, you need not join it. Afterward, people often stand around and talk. Staying for that is up to you. You can leave when the formal part ends. You will have gone even if you never described your life, and even if your life would not fit under that chapter title.

A closed meeting is for A.A. members, or for people with a drinking problem and a desire to stop drinking. An open meeting is for anyone interested in the program, and nonalcoholics may attend as observers. If you are not sure which door fits, an open meeting lets you listen without settling your whole identity in the hallway. The desire, when it is there, is the membership line. A matching biography is not.

Meetings are in person, online, or by phone. An online meeting can be video on, video off, or a dial-in. In-person rooms include offices, churches, treatment centers, community centers, clubhouses, and sometimes outdoors. The aa.org site is not a meeting finder. Local A.A. resources keep the lists, and there is a pointer there for online meetings. The meetings search is another way in. Those listings are not verified by the site, so confirm the time and the place before you count on a room.

If your body is in trouble

A chapter is not care. Call 911 if you are sick, confused, or cannot breathe. Call or text 988 if you are in a mental health crisis. NIAAA says alcohol withdrawal can be life-threatening when a person who drinks heavily over time stops suddenly. Do not try to prove you can sit through a story while that is happening.

NIDA says mutual-help groups such as A.A. are peer-led, not led by healthcare professionals, and not a substitute for treatment. The meeting is peer support. It is not detox. SAMHSA's National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357), is free, confidential, and available 24/7 in English and Spanish. FindTreatment.gov lists programs if you need a place to start looking.

Tonight

Go to one meeting and listen. You do not have to sound like Bill's Story before you speak, and you do not have to speak. A desire to stop drinking is the line that matters. Let Chapter 1 stay a chapter. Use the meetings search and confirm the listing. Call (800) 653-9376 if you need treatment; the call is free to you, treatment providers pay for the referral, the line is not an intergroup, and the line is not A.A., and it is not SMART Recovery.

Additional Resources

Sources cited on this page:

• A.A.: The Big Book
• A.A.: What to Expect at an A.A. Meeting
• A.A.: Need help with a drinking problem?
• A.A.: Find A.A. Near You
• A.A.: The Twelve Traditions
• NIDA: Treatment, including mutual-help groups
• NIAAA Core Resource: Alcohol Use Disorder, From Risk to Diagnosis to Recovery
• SAMHSA National Helpline
• SAMHSA FindTreatment.gov
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
• SmarterRecovery meetings page (listings are not verified)
• SmarterRecovery about page (calling is free to the caller)

Common Questions